The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:Free Yorkshire Terrior.8 years-old. Hateful little dog.———————————-Free Puppies:1/2 Cocker Spaniel1/2 Sneaky Neighbor’s Dog———————————-Free Puppies:Part German ShepherdPart Stupid Dog———————————-German Shepherd – 85lbs.Neutered. Speaks German. Free!———————————-1 Man, 7 Women hot tub — $850/offer———————————-Amana Washer $100.Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.———————————-Snow blower for sale.Only used on snowy days.———————————-2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.———————————-Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box,Comes with its own1988 Mustang, 5L, AutoExcellent Condition, $6,800.———————————-83 Toyota Hunchback — $2,000———————————-Star Wars Job of the Hut — $15———————————-Soft & Genital Bath Tissuesor Facial Tischue – $.89———————————-Full-Sized Mattress20 Year WarrantyLike New! Slight urine smell.———————————-FREE 1 Can of Pork & BeansWith Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home———————————-Nordic Track $300Hardly used. Call Chubbie.———————————-Bill’s Septic Cleaning“We Haul American Made Products“———————————-Shakespeare’s Pizza – Free Chopsticks———————————-HUMMELS – Largest Selection Ever!“If it’s in stock, we have it!“———————————-Get a Little John:The Traveling UrinalHolds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer.———————————-Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club———————————-Georgia PeachesCalifornia Grown – $.89/lb.———————————-Nice ParachuteNever Opened – Used OnceSlightly Stained———————————-American Flag60 Stars – Pole Included – $100———————————-Tired of Working for only $9.75 per hour?We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour.———————————-Exercise EquipmentQueen Size Mattress & Box Springs – $175———————————-Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob!And it’s made of 100% Italian Leather.———————————-Joining Nudist Colony!Must Sell Washer & Dryer – $300———————————-Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty.———————————-Alzheimer’s Center Preparesfor an Affair to Remember———————————-Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell———————————-Open House!Body Shapers Toning SalonFree Coffee & Donuts———————————-Kellogg’s Pot Tarts – $1.99/box.———————————-Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2.09/lb.———————————-FOR SALE BY OWNERComplete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.45 volumes – Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or best offer.No longer needed.Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything.
