Top 10 signs you bought a bad christmas tree:10. Two feet tall, forty feet wide9. Salesman’s opening line: „You’re not a cop, are you?“8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride6. Each branch has „Duraflame“ printed on it5. Keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list4. It’s very small and says „Air Freshener“ on it3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a cheap Statue of Liberty on top of it 1. Constantly bragging about its „trunk size“
