Home – A –
Age Jokes
„That’s an
excellent essay for someone your age,“ said the English
teacher.
„How about for someone my Mum’s age, Miss?“
„Welcome to
school, Simon,“ said the nursery school teacher to the
new boy.
„How old are you?“ „I’m not old,“ said Simon. „I’m nearly
new.“
Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school
magazine.
„How old are you, ma’am?“ asked Fred.
„I’m not going
to tell you that,“ she replied.
„But Mr Hill the technical teacher
and Mr Hill the geography teacher
told me how old they were.“
„Oh well,“ said Miss Jones. „I’m the same age as both of them.“
The
poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote:
Miss
Jones, our English teacher, confided in me that she was as old as
the
Hills.
„Now remember, boys and girls,“ said the science
teacher, „you can
tell a tree’s age by counting the rings in
a cross section. One ring
for each year.“
Fred went home for
tea and found a chocolate roll on the table.
„I’m not eating that,
Mum!“ she said. „It’s five years old.“
Grandma:
You’ve left all your crusts, Fred. When I was your age I ate
every one.
Fred: Do you still like crusts, Grandma?
Grandma: Yes, I do.
Fred: Well, you can have mine.
How old is your
wife?
Approaching forty.
From which direction?
An
eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was
correct
that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday.
`That’s
right,‘ said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I
haven’t an
enemy in the world. They’re all dead.‘
`Well, sir,‘ said the
interviewer, `I hope very much to have the
honour of interviewing
you on your hundredth birthday.‘
The old man looked at the young
man closely, and said, `I can’t see
why you shouldn’t. You
look fit and healthy to me!‘
