The Eighteen Bottles I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by mywife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, orelse… I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. Iwithdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down thesink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew thecork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exceptionof one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the thirdbottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled thecork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down theglass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next anddrank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled thesink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then Icorked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, countedthe glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which weretwenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally Ihad all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I’m not under theaffluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I’m not half as thunk asyou might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and thedrunker I stand here, the longer I get.
