The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallowsome toothpaste while brushing your teethLunch – Send your secretary out for six „gutbombers“- those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime butnow cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, abowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on theway back for a family size bottle of maalox.Afternoon Snack – Drink the maaloxDinner – Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chickenthree-piece Dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.TuesdayBreakfast – Eat the coleslawLunch – Go to the office vending machine and put ninetyfive cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eatwhatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.Dinner – Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.WednesdayBreakfast – Jaws couldn’t eat Breakfast after a night atEl Flasho’sLunch – Rolaids and a cokeDinner – Drop in at a married friends house and beg forscrapsThursdayBreakfast – Order out for pizzaLunch – Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbombersack forleftovers.Dinner – Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you gethungry ask the bartender for olives.FridayBreakfast – Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds.Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes betterand it’s better for you.Lunch – Skip Lunch, Fridays are murderDinner – Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don’teat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.SaturdayBreakfast – Sleep through it.Lunch – DittoDinner – Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts.Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant themin a hanging basket.SundayBreakfast – Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.Lunch – Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.Dinner – Chicken noodle soup – Call your mom and ask her aboutrenting your old room.
