|Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee: Support: „Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?“ Customer: „Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.“ Support: „What sort of trouble?“ Customer: „Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.“, Support: „Went away?“ Customer:“They disappeared.“ Support: „Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?“ Customer: „Nothing.“ Support: „Nothing?“ Customer: „It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.“ Support: „Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?“ Customer: „How do I tell?“ Support: „Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?“ Customer: „What’s a sea-prompt?“ Support: „Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?“ Customer: „There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.“ Support: „Does your monitor have a power indicator?“ Customer: „What’s a monitor?“ Support: „It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?“ Customer: „I don’t know.“ Support: „Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?“ Customer: ……“Yes, I think so.“ Support: „Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.“ Customer: ……“Yes, it is.“ Support: „When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?“ Customer: „No.“ Support: „Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.“ Customer: ……“Okay, here it is.“ Support: „Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.“ Customer: „I can’t reach.“ Support: „Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?“ Customer: „No.“ Support: „Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?“ Customer:“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.“ Support: „Dark? Customer: „Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.“ Support: „Well, turn on the office light then.“ Customer:“I can’t.“ Support: „No? Why not?“ Customer: „Because there’s a power outage.“ Support: „A power… A power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?“ Customer: „Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.“ Support: „Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.“ Customer: „Really? Is it that bad?“ Support: „Yes, I’m afraid it is.“ Customer: „Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?“ Support: „Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.“
