|Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving.Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and don’t play.Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola?A: A viola burns longer.Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?A: It is usually still in the case.Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.Q: Which is smaller, a violin or a viola?A: They are actually the same size, but a violinist’s head is so much bigger.Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?A: Put it in a viola case.Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?A: Terrorists have sympathizers.Q: Why don’t violists play hide and seek?A: Because no one will look for them.Q: Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering?A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they’re missing.
