You Know You're From California When…

You Know You’re From California When…1. The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway2. Your were born somewhere else 3. You know how to eat an artichoke 4. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic5. Your car has bulletproof windows6. Left is right and right is wrong7. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income8. Your mouse has only one ball9. If you need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up10. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by11. You can’t find your other earring because your son is wearing it12. You drive to your neighborhood block party13. Your family tree contains „significant others“14. Your dog has it’s own psychiatrist15. You don’t exterminate your roaches, you smoke them!16. You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance17. More than clothes come out of the closets18. „The Dead“ are best live19. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach20. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse21. More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers22. Smoking in your office is not optional23. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach24. When you can’t meet schedule because you must „do lunch“25. Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks26. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news27. You’ll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hottub repairman28. You consult your horoscope before planning your day29. A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery