The new Men’s Thesaurus – on sale now at your local book stores!:“I’M GOING FISHING“Means: „I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.“IT’S A GUY THING“Means: „There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical“.“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?“Means: „Why isn’t it already on the table?““UH HUH,“ „SURE, HONEY,“ OR „YES, DEAR…“Means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN“Means: „I have no idea how it works.““I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.“Means: „I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.““TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD“.Means: „I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.““THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.“Means: „Are you still talking?““YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.“Means: „I remember the theme song to ‚F Troop‘, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.““I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES“.Means: „The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.““OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.“Means: „I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.““HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING“.Means: „And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.““I CAN’T FIND IT.“Means: „It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completelyclueless.““WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?“Means: „What did you catch me at?““I HEARD YOU.““I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.““YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.“Means: „I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.““YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.“Means: „Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.““I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.“Means: „No one will ever see us alive again.““WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.“Means: „I make the messes, she cleans them up.“
