This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your human when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment for him/her. 1. I will not bathe my master after he bathes himself in the mud puddle. 2. I will not drag my master from the interesting sniffing spots. 3. I will not complain „My arm is tired“ after only throwing the ball 20 times. 4. I will not confuse my master by throwing snowballs for him to fetch. 5. I will not ask my master to play fetch with a boomerang. 6. I will drop whatever I’m doing and take my master out as soon as he asks me to. 7. I will get rid of those cats. 8. I will not tell my master to hurry up already when he’s looking for just the right spot to take care of business. 9. I will make ice cream often and let my master lick the blades (rather than having to steal a lick or two). 10. I will never eat until my master has tasted what I have and approved it for me. 11. I will set up the kiddie pool every day it’s hot – even in December. 12. I will not leave my master at home any time I go in the car. 13. I will share everything I eat with my master. 14. I will allow my master on the couch. 15. I will protect my master from that obnoxious little human thing at all times. 16. I will not have another of those obnoxious little human things. 17. I will not hide my master’s ball in a place where I know he couldn’t possibly retrieve it from and then ask him to go get it. 18. I will not sneak around the backyard wearing funny clothes to test whether my master is a good watchdog. 19. I will realize that all my guests are really coming to massage and stroke the master. 20. I will stop referring to my master’s necklace as her „collar.“ 21. I will not cut my master’s nails. 22. I will not take shredded, soggy, yummy tennis balls away from my master. 23. I will not abandon my master for trivial reasons like „going to work“. 24. I will not wake my master when I come home from work. 25. My master’s desires are always paramount. My master’s wish is my command. 26. I will not bring home any more cats. 27. I will not stare while my master is doing his business. 28. Bad weather is no excuse for not walking my master. 29. I will open the back door as soon as my master sits by it. 30. I will not laugh at my master for being confused over not being able to find the lump of ice that he buried earlier. 31. I will let my master bring the rear end of a mouse which the cat kindly gave him to chew onto the lounge room carpet. 32. I will not push my master away when she wants a hug after playing in a mud puddle. 33. I will give my masters chewies that last throughout that stupid kid’s entire piano practice. 34. I will not feed the cat before I feed my masters. 35. I will not enter shows held in horse barns and expect my master to be obedient. 36. Dog bladders are not large. 37. I will not yell at my master for creating „chew toys“ from found objects. 38. I will not run out of treats. 39. I will ,make a turkey/stuff a stocking/buy lots of presents, for my master. 40. I will not make my master wear silly-looking antlers or red hats. 41. I will not make my master pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit. 42. I will not tie leftover ribbons and bows all over my master. 43. I will not use decorations like tinsel that could be dangerous to my master. 44. I will try much harder to understand my master’s language. 45. I will not chase my master around yelling come! when he is socializing. 46. The ornaments on the trees are balls. Really. 47. I will not ask my master to retire to his crate anymore. 48. Give and leave it are useless request, so I will stop using them. 49. I will always carry cookies and treats. 50. I will never go socializing with other canines without my master. 51. I will not take my master back to that horrid SPCA, she says it is a Christmas party but I’m afraid she’ll leave me there. 52. I will not order my master to get up out of the nice snow when he is obviously making snow angels and giving himself a coat conditioning. 53. I will give up any idea of dieting as it could wreck my master’s nice comfy „chair“. 54. I promise to leave all doors and windows in the house open as my masters might need to make a quick exit to eradicate cats from the yard. 55. I will not come home from work and feel the sofa to see if it is still warm from where my master was sleeping „illegally“.
