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Dirty jokes

A murderer,
imprisoned for life, broke free
after 15 years and was on
the run. He broke into a house and tied up
the young couple he found
in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one
side of the room and his
wife to the bed. The helpless husband
watched him get on the bed,
straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her
neck. His wife started to
move her head violently, at which the man got
up and left the room.

The husband squirmed the chair across the
room to his young wife and
hissed, „Darling, I saw him kissing you.
He probably hasn’t seen a
woman in years. Please cooperate. If he
wants to have sex, just go
along with it and even pretend you like
it. Whatever you do don’t
fight him or make him mad. Our lives may
depend on it!“

„Darling,“ the wife said, spitting out her gag.
„I’m so relieved
you
feel that way. He wasn’t kissing me, he was
whispering to me. He told
me he thinks you’re really cute and
asked if we kept the Vaseline in
the bathroom.“

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