Drinking, Gambling, and Golf

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, „If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?“ „No, I stopped drinking years ago,“ the bum said. „Will you use it to gamble?“ „I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.“ „Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?“ „Are you NUTS! I haven’t played golf in 20 years!“ The man said, „Well, I’m not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.“ The bum was astounded. „Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.“ The man replied, „That’s OK. I just want her to see what a man looks like who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf.“