Bad: You can’t find your vibrator.Worse: Your daughter „borrowed“ it.Bad: You find a porn movie in your son’s room.Worse: You’re in it.Bad: Your children are sexually active.Worse: With each other.Bad: Your husband’s a cross dresser.Worse: He looks better than you.Bad: Your son’s involved in Satanism.Worse: As a sacrifice.Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.Worse: She’s a lawyer.Bad: Your wife’s leaving you.Worse: For another woman.Bad: Your wife’s leaving you.Worse: To enter a convent.Bad: Your wife’s arrested for soliciting.Worse: She implicates you.Good: Hot outdoor sex.Bad: You’re arrested.Worse: By your husband.Good: The postman’s early.Bad: He’s wearing camos and has an AK-47.Good: The secretary said „yes.“Bad: Your wife says „no.“Good: The teacher likes your son.Bad: Sexually.Worse: He’s gay.Good: You came home for a quickie.Bad: So did the postman.Good: You came home for a quickie.Bad: Your wife walks in.Good: You get a three-day weekend.Bad: You get the flu on Friday.Good: You get tickets to the theatre.Bad: It’s performance art.Good: You go to see a strip show.Bad: Your daughter’s the headliner.Good: Your boyfriend’s exercising.Bad: So he’ll fit in your clothes.Good: Your car conveniently „runs out of gas.“Bad: For real.Good: Your child’s „waiting for Mr. Right“.Bad: Your son, that is.Good: Your daughter’s on the Pill.Bad: She’s eleven.Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.Bad: She weighs 350 pounds.Good: Your son’s doing extra credit work.Bad: Making a sex ed video.Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.Bad: It’s counterfeit.Good: Your wife bought a porn video.Bad: Your daughter’s the star.Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.Bad: You live downtown.Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.Bad: She’s coming home.Good: Your wife’s kinky.Bad: With the neighbors.Worse: All of them.
