Hello Mother, Hello Father (song)

Here I am at Camp Grenada. Camp is very entertaining, and they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking with Joe Spivy. He developed poison ivy. You remember Leonard Skinner; he got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.All the counselors, hate the waiters, and the lake has alligators. And the head coach was no sissy, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses. Now I don’t want this to scare ya. But my bunkmate has malaria. You remember Jeffrey Hardy… They’re about to organize a search party.Take me home, oh mother, father. Take me home, I hate Grenada. Don’t leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear. Take me home, I promise I will not make noise or mess the house with other boys. Oh please, don’t make me stay! I’ve been here one whole day.Dearest father, darling mother, how’s my precious little brother? Let me come home if you miss me. I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me…Wait a minute… It stopped raining! Guys are biking. Guys are sailing, playing baseball… Gee, that’s better!Mother, father, kindly disregard this letter!