We know that you would give your life for us. Promise! When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I’ll say it was your stupidity. Well, I’ll see you in my dreams — if I eat too much. Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice. Let’s play horse. I’ll be the front end and you be yourself. I’ll never forget the first time we met — although, I’ll keep trying. You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you’ll do. If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn’t say hello, I’d say boo! I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you. Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly, too. I know one should judge a man by what he really is instead of by appearances, but you are REALLY ugly.
