Learn to speak Southern…

Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we’re here to help…Hah Tu Spek Suthun:BARD – verb. Past tense of the infinitive „to borrow.“Usage: „My brother bard my pickup truck.“JAWJUH – noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.Usage: „My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck.“MUNTS – noun. A calendar division.Usage: „My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts.“ALL – noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.Usage: „I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.“FAR – noun. A conflagration.Usage: „If my brother from Jawjuh doesn’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.“BAHS – noun. A supervisor.Usage: „If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!“TAR – noun. A rubber wheel.Usage: „Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.“TIRE – noun. A tall monument.Usage: „Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.“RETARD – Verb. To stop working.Usage: „My granpaw retard at age 65.“RATS – noun. Entitled power or privilege.Usage: „We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats.“FARN – adjective. Not local.Usage: „I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country.“JU-HERE – a question.Usage: „Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys‘ coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?“ HAZE – a contraction.Usage: „Is Bubba smart?“ „Nah … haze ignert.“VIEW – contraction: verb and pronoun.Usage: „I ain’t never seed New York City … view?“GUMMIT – Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.Usage: „Great … ANOTHER gummit shutdown!“