What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professionalman who will just love them for who they are.What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them onlybecause no other woman wants him.What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela LeeAnderson; Wonderful Mom with big hooters and can suck the chrome offa flag pole.What men get: Someone who immediately begins to gain those 80 extralbs the moment after she says „I Do“, beginning with the wedding cake!What women want in bed: A passionate lover who takes the time to kissand gently caress, slowly building up to a wonderful joyous experiencetogether.What they get: „Wham-Bam-Thank-You Ma’am!“, Belch, Fart, ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzWhat men expect out of a marriage: 3 loving children who honor theirparents.What they get: 3 helions who are a combination of their parents everyfault and make their life a living hell.1st anniversary card from husband to wife: „My sweet loving wife….Ihope this first year is a reflection of the next 60 years, you are my heartand soul, I am forever yours.“5th anniversary card: „I love you so much honey…words cannot describe.“10th anniversary card: „Hey, how’s it hangin‘? Love Ya‘!!“15th anniversary card: „Ummmmmmmmm……’sup?“16th anniversary card from wife to husband: „You are hereby summonedto divorce proceedings…“
