DANGER: new viruses discovered!:Congressional Virus v2.0 : Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.Tipper Gore Virus : When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.Government Ecomomist Virus : Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.New World Order Virus : Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.Warren Commission Virus : Won’t allow you to open your files for 75 years.David Duke Virus : Makes your screen go completely white.Pat Buchanan Virus : Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.Texas Virus : Makes sure it’s bigger than any other file.Adam And Eve Virus : Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.Warren Beatty Virus : Constantly tries to prove it’s virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.Airline Virus : You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.Freudian Virus : Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.PBS Virus : Your PC stops what it’s doing every few minutes to ask for money.Jimmy Hoffa Virus : Nobody can find it.Kevorkian Virus : Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.Healthcare Virus : Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends a you a bill for $4,500.LAPD Virus : It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in „self-defence“.Billy Graham Virus : When you save a file, it prints, „I am saved!“ to the screen.Michael Jackson Virus : Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This Virus won’t harm your PC, but it will trash your car.And finally…JokeGalore.com Virus : poses as a harmless list of funny computer Virus names! Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail, consequently consuming all known network resources.
