Big Jokes

LH741: Tower, give me a rough time check Tower: It’s Thursday, Sir.

Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not? Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes, SIR!

Tower: Shamu two-two, please state estimated time of arrival. Pilot: Ok, let’s see…, I think Tuesday would be nice…

Pilot: Tower, please call me a fuel truck. Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.

How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb? None, it is done by the automatic pilot.

A man walks up to the counter at the airport. „Can I help you?“ asks the agent. „I want a round trip ticket,“ says…

A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, „How long does it take to fly to Boston?“ The clerk said, „Just…

Cessna: „Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.“ Tower: „Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have…

„Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees..“ „But Center, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?“…

A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls…