New IRS Tax PolicyGOVERNMENT NOTICEJanuary 1, 1995To: All Male TaxpayersFrom: IRSRE: Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form 1040PThe only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts.Accordingly, starting January 1, 1995 your penis will be taxed according to it’s size. To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information on page 2, section 7, line 3 of your standard 1040 form.*12-10 inches –Luxury Tax –$50.0010-8 inches –Pole Tax –$30.008-6 inches –Privilege Tax –$15.006-4 inches –Nuisance Tax –$5.00Please Note:-Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a full refund.- * Males exceeding 12 inches must file for Capital Gains.Please do not request an extensionSincerely,Pecker CheckerInternal Revenue Services
