On an Electrician’s truck: „Let us remove your shorts.“ Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: „Best place in town to take a leak.“In a Non-smoking area: „If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.“On Maternity Room door: „Push, Push, Push.“ On a Front Door: „Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.“At an Optometrist’s Office: „If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.“On a Scientist’s door: „Gone Fission“ On a Taxidermist’s window: „We really know our stuff.“ In a Podiatrist’s window: „Time wounds all heels.“ On a Butcher’s window: „Let me meat your needs.“ On another Butcher’s window: „Pleased to meat you.“ At a Used Car Lot: „Second Hand cars in first crash condition.“ On a fence: „Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.“At a Car Dealership: „The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.“ Outside a Muffler Shop: „No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.“Outside a Hotel: „Help! We need inn-experienced people.“ At an Auto Body Shop: „May we have the next dents?“ In a Dry Cleaner’s Emporium: „Drop your pants here.“ On a desk in a Reception Room: „We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.“ In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: „Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!“ On a Music Teacher’s door: „Out Chopin.“At the Electric Company: „We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.“In a Beauty Shop: „Dye now!“On the side of a Garbage Truck: „We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.“ (Burglars please copy.)On the door of a Computer Store: „Out for a quick byte.“In a Restaurant window: „Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.“Inside a Bowling Alley: „Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.“In a Cafeteria: „Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.“On the door of a Music Library: „Bach in a minuet.“ In the front yard of a Funeral Home: „Drive carefully, we’ll wait.“ In a Counselor’s office: „Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional.“
