These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world. FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) – $50 NORDIC TRACK $300 – HARDLY USED – CALL CHUBBIE at: BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING – „WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS“ SHAKESPEARE’S PIZZA – FREE CHOPSTICKS HUMMELS – LARGEST SELECTION EVER – „IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!“ PRESIDENT’S CHOICE – COW MANURE – 2 33lb bags – $5 HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB GEORGIA PEACHES – CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb. NICE PARACHUTE – NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE – SLIGHTLY STAINED
