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Signs You Hired The Wrong Kid To Mow Your Lawn

He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher. He’s fascinated by the details of you home security system. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus. Turns a goat loose and says he’ll be back in three weeks. No toes.

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