Here’s some sure signs you may be a Canadian…You’re not offended by the term, „Homo Milk“ You understand, „Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine.“ You know what it means to be on ‚pogey‘. You know that „a mickey“ and „2-4’s“ mean „Party at the cabin, eh!!“ You don’t hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem. You can drink legally while still a ‚teen‘. You don’t give a hoot about the fuss with Cuba, it’s just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars. You’re not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don’t want to know if he has! You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. You know that Mounties „don’t always look like that.“ You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol content as „for children and the elderly, and for export to the US“. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You believe „the Canadian Conspiracy“ should have won an Oscar. You laugh afterward at some U.S. citizens‘ lack of knowledge of Canadian geography, but you are too polite to correct them. You design your Hallowe’en costume to fit over a snowsuit. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won’t prowl on your deck. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
