Motor Trend never mentioned a „Chevrolet Caca.“ Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan. Passenger-side „airbag“ is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box. Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty. Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace. Car has spent more time on „60 Minutes“ than on the road. Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity. Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees. Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity. Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags. „Jaws of Life“ in trunk. The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand. When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, „Where do you want to go today?“ You realize too late that it *is* your father’s Oldsmobile. Ralph Nader’s home phone number written on dashboard. The telltale green-and-yellow-make-blue Zip-Lok seals on your air bags.
