Stupid Insults 19/31

Lights not burning too bright. Like a barometer — vacuum at the top. Like a loose-leaf folder in winter. Like a one-armed man climbing a rope. Likes dunking for french fries. Little red choo-choo’s gone chugging ‚round the bend / jumped the track. Lives in La-la-land. Lives in the same world, but a different universe. Living proof that nature does not abhor a vacuum. Long on dry wall, short on studs. Looking for a nickel in the corner of a circular room. Looks for the „Any“ key. Loose chip on the microprocessor board. Loose wire to his headset/ringer. Low on thinking gas. Low-bandwidth as an information source. Lugnuts rattling in the hubcaps. Made a career out of mid-life crisis. Mainspring’s wound too tight. Makes a black hole look bright. Makes predictions that make weathermen/economists look good. Memorized every Dr. Seuss story written. Mental software is Version 1.0 / still in beta test. Mentally qualified for handicapped parking. Metronome needs oil. Might still be a virgin except for what nature did to her mind. Mind like a steel sieve. Mind like a steel trap — everything gets mangled / full of mice / nothing in, nothing out / rusted shut. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Missing a few catalog cards / gears / marbles.