Uses thumbtacks to post notes — on his refrigerator. Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks. Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard disks. Vacancy on the top floor. Vacuuming linoleum using a deep-pile setting. Vertically-fornicated mind. Views mold as a higher life form. Warranty expired. Was born an acrobat but landed on his head. Was born when the planets were misaligned. Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the door open. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby. Was napping in the nut pile the day God was cracking nuts. Wasn’t abused as a child, but should have been. Wasn’t strapped in during launch. Watches „Beavis and Butthead“ to learn vocabulary. Watching programs not listed in TV Guide. We’re all missing cards from our decks — and different cards, too. Went in for repairs but wasn’t tightened with a torque wrench. Went to the dentist to have his cranial cavity filled. When he was compiled they forgot to #include [smarts.h]/[iq.h]/[charm.h]. When they handed out brains he got the short end of the stick. When they said „drain“, he thought they said „brain“. Whole lotta choppin‘, but no chips a flyin‘. Wise as the world is flat. With one more neuron he’d have a synapse. Won’t eat eggs because he believes the „This is your brain“ ads. Would make an excellent illustration in a proctology textbook. Wouldn’t make any sense if she ever made sense. Zero K memory
