|Parent’s Dictionary of MeaningsDUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him.GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblingsPUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.VERBAL: able to whine in wordsWHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house
