There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment…

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment.One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.He went up to the shop assistant and asked „Could I have a fucketplease?“The assistant asked“Pardon sir?“.“Can I have a fucket please?“ Replied the man. „Oh you mean a bucket!“ The shop assistant replied.The old man said „Yes, that’s what I said“. So the man paid for hisbucket and went into the antique shop. In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -„Can I have a cock please?“ The cashier looked very puzzled and asked „Pardon?“. The man again asked „Can I have a cock please?“ The cashier replied „Oh you mean a clock! – yes certainly sir.“ So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant andasked „Can I have a bum please?“ The assistant said „Sorry sir what did you say?“. So he repeated himself „Can I have a bum please?“. The assistant said “ Oh right, you mean a bun!“. The old man said „Yes that’s what I said in the first place.“So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop. As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up tohim and asked „Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?“The man replied „Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket whileI get my cock out.“