Top 10 signs Santa doesn’t like your kid:10. Kid’s letter to North Pole comes back stamped, „Dream on, Chester!“9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoam peanuts6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a reindeer head in his bed5. Instead of „naughty“ or „nice,“ Santa has him on the „dork“ list4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival cruises with Kathie Lee3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, „Touch my beard and I’ll put the hurt on you!“2. Labels on all your kid’s toys read „Straight from Craptown“1. Four words: „Off my lap, Tubby!“
