ValueJet: When you just can’t wait for the world to come to you. ValueJet: We’re Amtrak with wings. Join our frequent near-miss program. On flights, every section is a smoking section. Ask about our out-of-court settlements. Our staff has had lots of experience consoling next-of-kin. Are our jet engines too noisy? Don’t worry. We’ll turn them off. Complimentary champagne during free-fall. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you. The kids will love our inflatable slides. You think it’s so easy, get your own plane! Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes? Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose. ValueJet: We may be landing on your street. ValueJet: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us. Bring a bathing suit. Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view. That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots. Fly ValueJet. Find out there really is a God. ValueJet: A real man lands where he wants to.
