Twas the Night before X-masT’was the night before christmas- Old Santa was pissedHe cussed out the elves and through down his listMiserable little brats, ungrateful little jerksI have a good mind to scrap the whole worksI’ve busted my ass for damn near a yearInstead of thanks Santa what do I hearThe Old lady bitches cause I work late at nightThe elves want more money the reindeers all fightRudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS And just when I thought that things would get betterThose assholes from IRS sent me a letterThey say I owe taxes-if that ain’t damn funnyWho the hell ever sent Santa Claus any moneyAnd the kids these days- they all are the pits They want the impossible… Those mean litttle shitsI spent a whole year making wagons and sledsAssembling dolls….Their arms, legs, and headsI made a ton of yo yo’s No request for them They want computers and robots…..they think I’m IBMIf you thinks that bad…just picture thisTry holding their pants full of piss They pull on my nose they grab at my beard And if I don’t smile the parents think I’m wierdFlying through the air…dodging the trees Falling down chimmneys and skinning their kneesI’m quitting this job…there’s just no enjoymentI’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment There’s no christmas this year…. now you know the reason I found me a blonde …I’m going south for the season
