Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A guy comes
walking into
a bar with a turtle in his hand.

The turtle’s one eye is black
and blue, two of his legs are bandaged,
and his whole shell is
taped together with duct tape.

The bartender looks at the guy and
asks:
„What’s wrong with your turtle?“

„Not a thing,“ the
man responds, this beat up turtle is faster than
your dog!“
„Not
a chance!“, replies the barkeep.

„Okay then, says the guy…
you take your dog and let him stand at one
end of the bar. Then go
and stand at the other end of the room and call
your dog. I’ll bet
you $500 that before your dog reaches you, my
turtle will be there.“

So the bartender, thinking it’s an easy $500, agrees.
The
bartender goes to the other side of the bar, and on the count of

three calls his dog.

Suddenly the guy picks up his turtle and
throws it across the room,
narrowly missing the bartender, and
smashing into the wall and says –

„I WIN… Told you it’ll
be there before your dog!“

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