Big Jokes

The accountant’s prayer: Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait…

What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.

What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map…

What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

What’s the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled ‚The World’s Top Accountants – Nude!‘.

What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular

What’s an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality.