New Year Nerd Resolutions

|NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON’TBE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU’RE A NERD 16. I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er… I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning… 4:30 is much more practical. 14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, „LOL… LOL!“ 13. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. 12. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. 11. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate. 10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.9. I resolve to work with neglected children… my own. 8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail. 7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.6. I will stop using, „So, what’s your URL?“ as a pickup line.5. No more downloads from alt.binaries.* 4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily… well, once a week… monthly, perhaps… 3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet. 2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.1. I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.

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