Big Jokes

Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn’t you? Fred: I…

What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole.

What’s the greatest birthday present? Hard to say – but a drum takes a lot of beating.

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to…

I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why…

Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What’s the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow….

I forgot my brother’s birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet.

Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn’t 99 I’d be dead.

How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don’t think…

Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old…